Connecting the Dots

When I was a kid, I used to love those connect-the-dot activities. You know, the ones where you start out looking at a page of numbered dots in random places that look like nothing in particular, and then you end up with a perfect picture of Mickey Mouse or a cute puppy. The best part was always following the numbers and drawing short lines until finally, the picture began to take shape. I’d guess what type of picture was forming, and I always got excited the further along I got as the end result became clearer and clearer.

As a grown adult now, I’ve been starting to see my life a lot like those puzzles. I’m all about setting goals and making plans. But sometimes it feels like I can’t see the end result coming together. I’m just laying the groundwork, piece by piece until finally, it starts to take shape.

Looking back on my life, I can see the steps I took that have gotten me to where I am today. At the time, I didn’t know what was coming. I just followed the steps to the next best thing.

I think there’s a lot of value in seeing the dots connecting in your own life. Think of all the things that happened to get you to where you are today. At the time, did you see this as the end result? Probably not. There’s something so exciting about that. Maybe you can’t see what’s ahead, but if you just keep plugging along, pretty soon you’ll be able to connect the dots to see an amazing picture coming together.

Take a look at the past few years of your life. See if you can pick out several life events that were pivotal in getting you to where you are today (for better or for worse). If you’re artistic, you might even try plotting them into an actual picture on paper! As you connect those dots (figuratively or literally), try to imagine what the final result could be.

We don’t know what’s ahead. The future will always be a mystery to us. But we can recognize the patterns and events in our lives now. Take a look at those things and try to figure out where your life is headed. What picture is forming? Is it the one you want? If it’s not, see you if you can take control of your own life’s puzzle and take the steps to make it a picture you’re proud of. Connect the dots! Why the hell not?

Ask and you shall receive…not always true, but you still have to ask, what if?

Back when I was preparing to open our first business, a coffee & ice cream shop, I spent a lot of time researching the industry as well as building my mind muscle. I read numerous motivational books and attended several business workshops. One of the books that I read and relied on for inspiration was The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. To this day, it remains one of my favorite books.

In the forward of the book, there was a message that asked for readers to help spread their message. After reading it, I decided that I wanted to help. I wrote to the company and asked them for 100 free books so that I could give them away at the grand opening of my new business. I had planned a big grand opening event (any excuse for a party!), and I wanted to entice the first 100 visitors with freebies.

I ordered all kinds of things to give away. As it got closer to the big day, the shipments were piling in our garage. The boxes arriving were small to medium in size, but unfortunately, nothing big enough for 100 books. No big deal, the planning and organizing continued.

Every day I would go through a few of the boxes and begin to organize the supplies. After a couple of weeks, I was opening the remainder of the boxes and to my surprise, one of the medium sized boxes contained 100 condensed versions of The Power of Positive Thinking! I could not believe it!

That was a lesson I will never forget. I gave away all the books, except for one. I kept one for myself and have it displayed on top of my bookcase facing my desk to serve as a reminder to never be afraid to ask for something. It isn’t up to us to decide how someone wants to answer our request. So go ahead and ask for it! Why the hell not?

Alter Ego…don’t leave home without it.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of alter egos. But what is one, exactly? An alter ego is a second self, a totally different and unique version of yourself. If you’re shy and reserved, maybe your alter ego would be bold and outgoing. If you’re normally a home-body, your alter ego might be an adventurous adrenaline junkie.

These days, it seems like every movie that comes out has something to do with superheroes. And while superhero movies are certainly entertaining, they’re also great sources of alter ego inspiration.

Peter Parker has his Spiderman alter ego, Bruce Wayne has Batman, Barry Allen has The Flash, Bruce Banner has The Hulk. All of these characters created a persona for themselves that was far different than their original selves, but it allowed them to do incredible things. Peter Parker was a nerdy high school kid, but as Spiderman, he was a hero.

Now I’m definitely not suggesting you put on a superhero costume and run around town chasing criminals. But there’s a real benefit to creating your own alter ego. It can help you be fearless enough to do things you wouldn’t normally do or exhibit parts of your personality that don’t normally shine through.

So how can you do this?

First, decide what traits you want your alter ego to have. Do you wish you were more outgoing? More confident? Quieter, louder, more adventurous? Make a list of goals and desired traits. Then give you those traits to your new alter ego.

If you’re normally afraid of public speaking, think about what your alter ego would say. “I’ve got this! I’ve got all the confidence in the world!”

Having an alter ego isn’t like having an imaginary friend or pretending you’re different than you are. It’s simply about empowering yourself to take bold steps in your life. Have fun with it. You can even name your own alter ego. Even Beyonce had an alter ego named Sasha Fierce. What will yours be called? What will it allow you to do?

Creating an alter ego can give you the confidence to go after the things you want in life. Whether you’re looking to change up your habits or simply live life a little more boldly, having an alter ego can be hugely empowering.

Maybe it’s time for you to go from Clark Kent to Superman, or from Bruce Banner to The Hulk. What will your alter ego bring out in your life? Give it a try and find out!

Trust the process

I am a control freak. There, I said it. Are you happy? I finally have come to terms with the fact that I want control, love control, and relax when I am in control. It really has been one of my most difficult traits, and I have had to learn to adjust it. Not let go of it completely, but adjust it.

I’ve always been the type of person who plants a seed and then messes with it until it’s damaged. And then I see that I’ve caused the growth to slow down or worse, to never grow at all, just from my interference.

I have learned over time that once you plant a seed, you have to let it go. It will flourish on its own when the time is right. Trying to control or fast forward an outcome is dangerous. Not only can you damage the outcome, but you may miss out on an important part of the developmental stage. Often times, it is in the developmental stage that the “break-through” moments appear.

Every destination comes with a journey. Every journey involves a process. Trying to rush things or control the outcome is a surefire way to end up with damaged goods. I have finally learned that the process is not within my control. And I have had to let it go and trust it.

It is still not an easy thing, but it’s nice to know that the uncertainty the process brings will eventually lead to the ultimate goal. It gives my mind a comfort and more settled feeling when I accept that the process will introduce me to things I didn’t know before I started. So, let it go and trust the process.

Taking a Leap of Faith

We like to end every episode of The Nooner Show with the famous quote by Margaret Shepard,

“Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith.”

It’s a nice sentiment, but what does it really mean? Are you supposed to make a life-altering decision and then just go for it? Is it blind faith? I don’t think so.

Major life-changing decisions need to be well thought out. You have to plan, organize, work hard, and often struggle in order to reach your goals. But there comes a point after you’ve made all the right decisions to lead you in the direction of change, that you can’t analyze things any further. Hard work will only take you so far. And when you reach that point, there’s only one thing you can do. You have to rely on faith.

If you have a goal or dream burning in your soul and you’ve analyzed the pros and cons of that dream and developed a plan, then at that point you just have to take a leap of faith. You have to believe it’ll work out.

In other words, put the action in place. Lay the groundwork first. You won’t know until you try. And if you don’t try it, someone else will. So why not let it be you? It could be the one decision that changes your life forever! Why the hell not?

Hi Nooner Show Friends,

Welcome to our blog, Why the hell not? Yeah, I’m serious, Why the hell not?

Once a month our team will publish a blog post regarding lessons and experiences we’ve taken from our own lives (and we have many!) or examples of something we have learned about. Our goal is that by sharing our stories and experiences, we will help you get the most out of life by overcoming many of the fears that hold you back as well.

One of the common experiences that we realized we have had as a team is that we complicate, hesitate, or altogether avoid decisions that are not in our safety zone.

If you are anything like we are, it seems like every decision we make towards accomplishing a goal is often joined by a mental struggle. Nora, Rocky, and I educate ourselves daily. All of us enjoy reading, watching documentaries, and studying the stories of successful people and survivors.

Yet, for some reason, we discovered that we keep thinking that those people are different. But are they really? What’s different? What’s their secret? Don’t they worry about failure? Or are they just smarter?

Let’s stop and think about it.

When you’re thinking of trying something new, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that’s going to happen? Will it really matter a year from now if it doesn’t work out?” It is really no more than learning to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Wouldn’t it be nice if our minds were wired to think of how things could work out if pursued? I know it is easier said than done, but look, we need to start somewhere. Every time we pass on something because of the conversations in our mind, we could be missing out on a huge opportunity. What if we’re just one decision away from a totally different life?

This new method of thinking is changing our lives. We aren’t there yet. It has been a work in progress. However, the baby steps of just approaching opportunities with a different mindset has led to some amazing adventures for us.

So let’s work on this together. Let’s start with one simple change. When a decision needs to be made that forces us to stretch beyond our comfort zone and those hesitating voices chime in, let’s challenge them with one sentence: This could go right and change everything. So give it a shot! Why the hell not?