A few years ago, a woman named Bronnie Ware wrote an article called Regrets of the Dying, based on her experiences working with people at the end of their lives. What she learned from these individuals was that most humans share similar regrets when they realize they are dying. One of the biggest was always something along the lines of this:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Think about that. At the end of their lives, most people regret not being true to themselves. They regret having done things they were supposed to do rather than things they were passionate about or dreamed about doing. They fell into the rut of expectation and got caught up doing what everyone else was doing or what their parents wanted or their peers expected of them. Their own identities and passions were drowned out by someone else’s opinions of who they should be.

Imagine 20, 30, 50 years into the future…what will your life look like? Will you reach the end of your life and be happy with the way things are? Or will you look back and remember the passion you had for music. The curiosity you had about travel. The desire you had to be a fashion designer. The urge to be an artist. Will you remember those passions as things that could have been? Or will they be the memories of the things you actually did?

When we’re young, we always think we have all the time in the world. It’s easy to put off our dreams for our lives in order to pursue the sensible path. Sure, you wanted to be a guitarist, but wasn’t it more practical to get that office job instead?

Maybe. Sometimes choosing the practical path really is the right choice for your life. But when you make a decision and plot which way your life will go, ask yourself this: is this what I really want?

I don’t know about you, but I definitely don’t want to be lying on my deathbed thinking about all the things I could have done with my life. I want to really do those things! So what if society says you should graduate high school, go to college, get an office job, and work until you’re 65. If you have a burning passion to pursue a music career or become a dancer or write a book, do it! Don’t die with the music still inside of you. Chase after those dreams with all you’ve got.
You only have one life. You can either live it the way others think you should or you can live it authentically, following your dreams. The choice is yours, but you’re a lot less likely to live (and die) with regrets if you’re able to be true to yourself now. Give it a shot!

 

 

The best of the best have been booed a one time or another

Imagine if everyone who was ever booed, laughed at, or worse yet, rejected because their idea was stupid, quit pursuing their passion. We wouldn’t have so many great musicians, authors, products, and services. Anyone who is working towards something bigger than what small minds can conceptualize will at some point in their journey be booed. Believe it or not, some of the most iconic stars of all time have failed auditions, had terrible shows and received bad reviews.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve no doubt heard of Jimi Hendrix. One of the most renowned guitarists of all time, Hendrix was a pivotal influence in 20th-century music. His impact on popular rock music is unmatched. And yet, in 1967 when he was on tour with the Monkees, the audience didn’t even want to hear him play! They cheered for the pop sensation, the Monkees, instead.

In 1982, Stevie Ray Vaughan played an incredible live rendition of Texas Flood at a music festival in Switzerland. Vaughan is an impressive guitarist, and his ten-minute performance was astounding and raw. But he was repeatedly booed by members of the audience! He has gone down in history as one of the most well-known guitarists of his day, and even he was booed. Likely because he wasn’t interested in sticking to conventions and playing soft, acoustic tunes. He knew how to shake things up!

It wasn’t just musicians whose work didn’t go over well. Coco Chanel was a renowned fashion designer who had a drastic impact on women’s fashion. She turned women’s fashion on its head, introducing masculine elements to her clothing and accessories that were totally unheard of before then. And how do you think that went over with the other designers at first? Not well! But she powered through and clearly, it worked in her favor.

Even Beatrix Potter, author of the beloved Peter Rabbit books, was rejected. Countless times! She was rejected by so many publishers that she eventually gave up and self-published 250 copies of The Tale of Peter Rabbit. Now, a century later, her stories are still popular and that rejected book has sold half a billion copies.

What all these examples have in common is this: they all faced rejection. And they were all massively successful in their fields. No matter how good you are, there are going to people who don’t support you. People will tell you that you aren’t good enough, you don’t have what it takes, you can’t make it. It’s inevitable.

But just think what the world would be like if Jimi Hendrix or Coco Chanel had listened to those people? Great works of music would never be heard, and women might still be walking around in completely impractical full-length dresses. The sound of rock and roll, the look of fashion, and even children’s literature would be forever changed without these gutsy game changers.

Whatever it is you want to do, you have to believe in it passionately. And you can’t let the naysayers convince you that you can’t do it. No matter how many times you face rejection, you have to get back up and show the world what you’ve got. Because, what the hell…you could become the next Jimi Hendrix! And that’s something worth pursuing.

Say it like you mean it!

Have you ever heard someone say something that sounded completely true, only to later find out it was false? Some of the most convincing speakers I know say things with such confidence that it seems impossible they could be wrong. This definitely isn’t always a good thing (you don’t want liars convincing you of things that aren’t true!), but most of the time it’s an admirable trait. Being able to talk persuasively can be a hugely beneficial skill to have.

It’s not just with friends and family, either. Politicians, business people, entertainers, teachers…some people have the ability to convince others just by speaking. I’m not talking about making people believe lies. You don’t want to do that. But some people are so skilled in presenting their points of view that their audience can’t help but take interest. The way they talk makes it sound like everything they say must be worth listening to. Now that’s a skill worth learning!

So how do they do it? It’s not just having smarts or stating a sound argument. You can’t just read off a list of facts and expect to compel people. But it’s actually much simpler than that. It’s all about confidence! Your demeanor and the way you present yourself to others make a huge difference. People will be way more willing to listen to you if you seem sure of what you’re saying.

When you truly believe in something, you have to say it that way. You can’t doubt yourself and you can’t come across as uncertain. Saying things boldly and with confidence is the key.

Confidence isn’t just useful in speaking. It’s beneficial in almost all areas of your life. It’s true that people are more likely to listen to you and believe what you’re saying when you’re confident. But exhibiting confidence can be good for so much more than your powers of persuasion. It can boost your self-esteem, improve your social life, and even reduce stress!

It might sound difficult, but trust me, it’s not! Truly, all you have to do is just put a little faith in yourself. If you believe in yourself and believe what you are saying, I think you’ll find that other people will do the same. And pretty soon, you’ll discover that you’ve become one of those convincing speakers yourself! Give it a try and find out!